Day 2: Your first love, in great detail
Sep. 12th, 2010 06:02 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
bare_bearI've been thinking about this day's prompt for a while now. See, you'd think I'd say that my first love was with the first guy that I was serious about and fell in love with. The one I dated all through my teenage years and wound up engaged to by the age of 19. While he was the first guy I fell in love with, he wasn't my first love.
That person would be my first best friend, Amanda.
I met Amanda when I was 2 years old, when we moved into a house on her street. We became best friends as we grew up together. Our street was short and dead-ended at the river, so there weren't other kids around us other than our brothers, and who wants to spend time with younger brothers? I think that we only became best friends because of this isolation and spending all our time together. We wound up being such drastically different people that I'm not surprised we drifted apart in later years. But growing up, right up to the end of high school despite my moving to the country, we were inseparable. I never questioned it, how I felt about her, thinking that there couldn't be a girl more beautiful than her, but looking back I realize that what I felt wasn't just the love of a friend. I was in love with her.
After high school, I moved back to the city and in with my then boyfriend (the guy mentioned above). Unfortunately Amanda and I drifted apart. I mostly blame myself. In the end, I think I chose my boyfriend over her, and I absolutely regret that. It's something I'll talk more on Day 19, since it's a little more complicated than that.
I've definitely moved on from it, and I don't regret not realizing how I felt sooner. I think that would have just made things awkward between us and possibly wrecked what we did have. I was in love with her, but more importantly, I loved her as my closest friend, and I'd prefer that to any kind of romantic love. And despite the distance between us now, I'll always cherish my memories of our years together.
That person would be my first best friend, Amanda.
I met Amanda when I was 2 years old, when we moved into a house on her street. We became best friends as we grew up together. Our street was short and dead-ended at the river, so there weren't other kids around us other than our brothers, and who wants to spend time with younger brothers? I think that we only became best friends because of this isolation and spending all our time together. We wound up being such drastically different people that I'm not surprised we drifted apart in later years. But growing up, right up to the end of high school despite my moving to the country, we were inseparable. I never questioned it, how I felt about her, thinking that there couldn't be a girl more beautiful than her, but looking back I realize that what I felt wasn't just the love of a friend. I was in love with her.
After high school, I moved back to the city and in with my then boyfriend (the guy mentioned above). Unfortunately Amanda and I drifted apart. I mostly blame myself. In the end, I think I chose my boyfriend over her, and I absolutely regret that. It's something I'll talk more on Day 19, since it's a little more complicated than that.
I've definitely moved on from it, and I don't regret not realizing how I felt sooner. I think that would have just made things awkward between us and possibly wrecked what we did have. I was in love with her, but more importantly, I loved her as my closest friend, and I'd prefer that to any kind of romantic love. And despite the distance between us now, I'll always cherish my memories of our years together.
