The Future

I think I've finally decided what I want to do after I finish school.  I've been back and forth about whether to go abroad, go north to Yellowknife NWT, go to another province.  Hell, I was even considering going south to the States (although I kiboshed that one pretty quick).  I work in a global industry; I can literally go almost anywhere in the world.

And then one night, while talking out the possibilities with my Mom, she said "I just wish you could come home."

...

I stuttered out about wanting to try a new city, and new experience, and she said she understood, that she knew me and my dreams, but just wanted to let me know.

*sigh*

And now I keep thinking, what am I doing?  My Mom has been waiting for me to have more time for her, to be closer to home (she's been more clingy since my Dad died).  My brother and I are actually starting to get along and make efforts to keep in touch (thank you facebook).  My favourite great aunt has been given 2-3 years to live.  My favourite cousins are all growing up.  And I'm not on speaking terms with my Grandma (who isn't getting any younger).

Can I really put an interesting adventure over my family?  Not really.

So I think I'm going home.  Back to the 'Peg, anyways.  I'm not that happy about this, but it feels right.  And nothing says I have to stay there for the rest of my life.  I wasn't planning on spending the rest of my life in whatever city I landed in, either. 

I'm not telling anyone back home yet, just in case things change.  You never know.  And I usually live my life by whatever interesting experience comes up, so if say a job in Scotland or China or something lands in my lap, I'd have to seriously rethink this all.

But still...I miss my family a lot, and they have stood behind me through my entire education.  I owe them this consideration, anyways.  :)