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Apr. 17th, 2011 12:47 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
bare_bearI haven't been updating much on here, mostly because I've been working so hard on the thesis. Or rather, trying to work so hard on the thesis. What time off I give myself, I either stalk sewing blogs, do a bit of sewing myself, or watch Criminal Minds or Project Runway (season 4).
Honestly, the thesis isn't going well at all. I think I've hit depressed again. I can't seem to focus on it at all, and the writing is going horribly. It not just like pulling teeth, it's like pulling teeth with oven mitts on your hands and a paper bag over your head. I don't know what to do.
*headdesk*
I think I'm on the downswing into depression again, and I really need to boot myself out before I sink too much lower. I finally admitted to the Super Super that it's going horribly, although I'm not brave enough to check my email to see if she responded. I just want to give up, it all seems so impossible.
I've done jack shit today. Oh, I've sat at my pseudo desk and sorted all my notes and papers, found my pen and highlighter and some extra paper. Even opened up a paper I'm in the middle or reading. Could I do any of it? No. Granted, I've been feeling like crap this week, but I don't know if it's the crappy feeling affecting my focus and work ethic, or this depression affecting my health.
I did, however, go out for lunch with my brother, which was really nice. We don't spend much time together, but since we've both grown up a bit, I really enjoy hanging out with him whenever we get the chance. It doesn't even devolve into screaming matches anymore! We're grown-ups. :)
Maybe it's time for a change in environment. I've been at my Grandma's and Uncle's for over a month now, and their inherent negative attitudes are probably not helping me keep my spirits up. Especially since I spend half my time in their presence biting my tongue to keep from saying the things that are going through my head.
Boring post is boring, but that's my life right now. I just want to be finished and out from under the thesis shadow so I can actually do the things I want to. I don't want to do this anymore.
I'm keeping this public for now, but I'll be f-locking it in a day or so.
Honestly, the thesis isn't going well at all. I think I've hit depressed again. I can't seem to focus on it at all, and the writing is going horribly. It not just like pulling teeth, it's like pulling teeth with oven mitts on your hands and a paper bag over your head. I don't know what to do.
*headdesk*
I think I'm on the downswing into depression again, and I really need to boot myself out before I sink too much lower. I finally admitted to the Super Super that it's going horribly, although I'm not brave enough to check my email to see if she responded. I just want to give up, it all seems so impossible.
I've done jack shit today. Oh, I've sat at my pseudo desk and sorted all my notes and papers, found my pen and highlighter and some extra paper. Even opened up a paper I'm in the middle or reading. Could I do any of it? No. Granted, I've been feeling like crap this week, but I don't know if it's the crappy feeling affecting my focus and work ethic, or this depression affecting my health.
I did, however, go out for lunch with my brother, which was really nice. We don't spend much time together, but since we've both grown up a bit, I really enjoy hanging out with him whenever we get the chance. It doesn't even devolve into screaming matches anymore! We're grown-ups. :)
Maybe it's time for a change in environment. I've been at my Grandma's and Uncle's for over a month now, and their inherent negative attitudes are probably not helping me keep my spirits up. Especially since I spend half my time in their presence biting my tongue to keep from saying the things that are going through my head.
Boring post is boring, but that's my life right now. I just want to be finished and out from under the thesis shadow so I can actually do the things I want to. I don't want to do this anymore.
I'm keeping this public for now, but I'll be f-locking it in a day or so.
