In My Next Thirty Years
Mar. 22nd, 2011 10:53 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
bare_bearI've been so busy working on my thesis of late, that I haven't given much thought of what tomorrow means to me.
Thirty years ago tomorrow morning, I came into the world in a flurry of fear and tears. Poor ickle sick Heather, who came out a girl with a heart condition instead of the healthy baby boy the doctors thought I'd be. Don't worry, I got over it.
I've been vacillating about how I feel about hitting the "big 3-0" for months now. When I consider the fact that I'm still a student, that I live in my parents spare bedroom, that I'm a single woman without any of the Things You're Supposed To Have by now (a job, house, family, a life, etc.), I start to panic a bit. I think about the fact that I've been in university for 9 years and sometimes feel like I wasted my 20's.
But why am I thinking of these things? I mean, 30 is just a number, right? How is it any different than the last few birthdays I've celebrated?
I'll tell you the why and how. Because of the expectations drilled into your head your entire life. Of course I should be married. Of course I should have kids and a house and a car and a job and the Ideal Life. And if I don't have all that, well there's obviously something wrong with me.
Stupid, eh?
I love my life. Okay I hate that I'm still a student and that I need to rely so much on my family's support right now, but I have a great family, amazing friends, and I've learned the last few years that I value things like that more than I'd ever value Things.
Thirty is just a number. Maybe it's a little bit of a scary number because of all the heavy expectations that come with it, but it's not the end of the world and it's certainly not the end of my life. I like who I am, going into my 30's, far more than I liked myself throughout most of my 20's. And more importantly, I know who I am and what I want, and I'm not afraid to get it.
So yeah, I'm glad to be bidding my 20's good-bye and moving onwards into my 30's. It's going to be fucken awesome.
Thirty years ago tomorrow morning, I came into the world in a flurry of fear and tears. Poor ickle sick Heather, who came out a girl with a heart condition instead of the healthy baby boy the doctors thought I'd be. Don't worry, I got over it.
I've been vacillating about how I feel about hitting the "big 3-0" for months now. When I consider the fact that I'm still a student, that I live in my parents spare bedroom, that I'm a single woman without any of the Things You're Supposed To Have by now (a job, house, family, a life, etc.), I start to panic a bit. I think about the fact that I've been in university for 9 years and sometimes feel like I wasted my 20's.
But why am I thinking of these things? I mean, 30 is just a number, right? How is it any different than the last few birthdays I've celebrated?
I'll tell you the why and how. Because of the expectations drilled into your head your entire life. Of course I should be married. Of course I should have kids and a house and a car and a job and the Ideal Life. And if I don't have all that, well there's obviously something wrong with me.
Stupid, eh?
I love my life. Okay I hate that I'm still a student and that I need to rely so much on my family's support right now, but I have a great family, amazing friends, and I've learned the last few years that I value things like that more than I'd ever value Things.
Thirty is just a number. Maybe it's a little bit of a scary number because of all the heavy expectations that come with it, but it's not the end of the world and it's certainly not the end of my life. I like who I am, going into my 30's, far more than I liked myself throughout most of my 20's. And more importantly, I know who I am and what I want, and I'm not afraid to get it.
So yeah, I'm glad to be bidding my 20's good-bye and moving onwards into my 30's. It's going to be fucken awesome.
